Penns Valley Area High School has been rumored to have contracted a synthetic turf field to replace the current grass field in the stadium. Along with the field, the track is to be upgraded. The bleachers and speakers are also to be updated.

The update to the stadium is long-awaited as the grass field gets worse and more unlevel every year. I asked Cayden Merril, a senior soccer player, his thoughts on the grass field. He responded, “It feels like you’re playing on gravel, a BMX park, it’s so uneven.” You heard it there, the stadium is overdue for renovation. It is genuinely astonishing how long Penns Valley has had the grass field. The turf field will not only fix the uneven attribute of the grass field but the turf field will have lower maintenance costs than the grass.

It is safe to assume the turf field is a great choice but also an update in a sound system will be celebrated along with refurbished bleachers. These upgrades are planned to take a year longer than initially expected and will force teams to play on practice fields. The project will take one million dollars more than first expected to complete as the construction company that will be hired employs lazy workers to generate more money for the company. Yes, I do not know why Penns Valley will be employing a singular man for the job but it will cost them big time. I regret to inform you that this is all satire.

April Fools!